120. King Diamond - Voodoo

Sad to say, this is not the only King Diamond record I own. I have no idea why I have these; I only listen to two songs of his, and both in a novelty sort of way. Maybe because I liked his former band Mercyful Fate, I thought I'd enjoy his solo work as well, in the way one enjoys gothic, Danish black metal.

Diamond's albums are like Dean Koontz books set to music. That's not necessarily a good thing being that Dean Koontz is not exactly high literature (I'm pretty sure the author of Twilight would cite Koontz as one of her literary heroes) and Danish black metal, while somewhat enjoyable if in the right mood, is mostly a guilty pleasure.

Voodoo is a story about well, voodoo. And New Orleans. And speaking in tongues. But that doesn't really matter. What matters is just one song on the album, One Down, Two To Go. Have you ever heard King Diamond sing? He sounds like a screaming banshee took possession of an opera singer. If you listen to him without being aware of who he is or what he does, you might think it's a Spinal Tap variety parody. It's something I listen to with part amusement, but part full on, absolute, unironic enjoyment. And this particular song is my karaoke song. If I ever did karaoke, which I never have.

The way I figure it, if I'm going to get up there and embarrass the hell out of myself, I may as well go full tilt. Watching me sing would be like one of those early contestants on American Idol where you sort of squirm uncomfortably as they hit every bad note and key.

Which is why I'd sing this song. The sheer joy of watching the horrified look on people's faces as I sang "You used to be so beautiful, but now you're gonna diiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" in a wretched falsetto that would make Bruce Dickinson sound like the singer from Cannibal Corpse in comparison would be so worth the ensuing humiliation.

(The other King Diamond song I listen to is No Presents For Christmas)

Favorite song: One Down, Two To Go
King Diamond at Encyclopaedia Metallum