Saturday, November 22, 2008

64. Spawn Soundtrack

This movie sucked in ways few movies do. But the soundtrack is an interesting concept take some metal bands and some techno artists and mix them together. This is a bit like mixing Rooster Sauce with peanut butter, but you’d be kind of surprised how that works out. Tastes like angry peanuts! And this album is kind of like....angry peanuts.

Yes, the peanuts are angry. But they are dancing, too. See how that works? Ok, let’s take that Rooster Sauce analogy to its ultimate limit (and probable demise) and use it to review the entire album. (You might have to understand my love for Rooster Sauce and my contention that it goes with ANYTHING to even begin to comprehend this review, but just try to follow me anyhow - when you're reviewing so many albums every day, you have to find new ways to make it amusing, even if just to yourself).

1. "(Can't You) Trip Like I Do" - Filter & The Crystal Method
This is like Rooster Sauce and Chili. Destined to be together. Makes for a song that leaves you wanting a second helping.

2. "Long Hard Road Out of Hell" - Marilyn Manson & Sneaker Pimps
Rooster Sauce and tomato soup. See, you would think this would be a really odd combo. I’m not really fond of tomato soup in general, and I wouldn’t eat Rooster Sauce on its own, but put the two together and you got something that’s pretty palatable.

3. "Satan" - Orbital & Kirk Hammet
Rooster Sauce and anything from Taco Bell. Just a waste of Rooster Sauce. Kirk Hammet adds nothing to Orbital’s block rockin’ beats. You’d be better off just guzzling the Rooster Sauce.

4. "Kick The P.A." - Korn & The Dust Brothers
Rooster Sauce and fast food fried chicken. Sure, you may not admit to liking or eating the fast food chicken, but when you throw some Rooster Sauce on it, then it’s ok to say you ate it. And enjoyed it.

5."Tiny Rubberband" - Butthole Surfers & Moby
Rooster Sauce and tofu. See, tofu tastes like whatever you put on it, so you can’t go wrong with it. It doesn’t matter that Moby exists within this tune because it’s really all Butthole Surfers weirdness. Which is good.

6. "For Whom the Bell Tolls (The Irony of it All)" - Metallica & DJ Spooky
Rooster Sauce and plain oatmeal. Not even Rooster Sauce can hide the fact that plain oatmeal is boring as all hell. Bland, tasteless, boring. Spooky’s presence does nothing to spice up the repetitive Metallica contribution to this tune.

7. "Torn Apart" - Stabbing Westward & Wink
Rooster Sauce and pizza. You just know it’s going to be good from the get go. One of those things that when you get around to putting them together you think, why didn’t I do this sooner?

8. "Skin Up Pin Up" - Mansun & 808 State
Rooster Sauce and scrambled eggs. Not a taste everyone will like or even try, but I promise you it works. Just try it once and you’ll be thinking about it all day.

9. "One Man Army" - The Prodigy & Tom Morello
Rooster Sauce on a peanut butter and banana sandwich. I know, I didn’t think it would work, either. But it does, I swear. You have to keep tasting it to make sure you tasted it right the first time. It’s the angry peanuts, man. They own you. Second best song on the album.

10. "Spawn" - Silverchair & Vitro
Rooster Sauce and grilled American cheese on white bread. I know what you’re thinking. Meh. Grilled cheese. How...plain. How generic. But add a little Rooster Sauce and you have yourself something with a nice bite to it. Who knew grilled cheese could get all down with its bad self like that?
11. "T-4 Strain" - Henry Rollins & Goldie
Rooster Sauce and caviar. Ohh, look at me. I’m eating caviar. I am pretentious and full of myself! Really, I dig on Rollins, but sometimes he makes me cringe. Not even a good dose of Rooster Sauce does anything for me here. In fact, it’s just a reminder that THIS SONG SUCKS.

12. "Familiar" - Incubus & DJ Greyboy
Rooster Sauce and chicken soup. It’s smooth. It’s a tasty blend of warmth and wellness with a nice kick to it. It’s comforting and familiar yet sort of kicks your ass about five minutes after you’ve eaten it. Best song here.

13. "No Remorse (I Wanna Die)" - Slayer & Atari Teenage Riot
Rooster Sauce and habanero peppers. Oh yea, that’s gonna hurt. But it’s gonna hurt so good. You’ll either bang your head in sheer hot-throated joy or go home crying to your momma.

14. "A Plane Scraped Its Belly On A Sooty Yellow Moon" - Soul Coughing & Roni Size
Rooster Sauce and granola. You’re just gonna puke it back up and you know what? It will look the same as it did going down. Kind of useless.

Overall, the album rates four bottles of Rooster Sauce, because even with the songs that bring it down a bit, it still kicks your ass from here til next Wednesday.

But skip the movie.

Favorite song: Familiar
You know who else loves Rooster Sauce?


Rob said...

I have this soundtrack, too, but I never get past the first two songs. I've tried. Those first two are killer, though.

Rob said...

Oh yeah, and the movie sucks big time.

Thunder said...

Yes, the soundtrack was absolutely the BEST thing about this movie. This album follows in the footsteps of "Judgement Night", which was the first movie to theme a soundtrack on NEW cross-genre collaborations.

I keep this soundtrack in the car. I bust it out frequently. Your analogies are right on, and I have to add one thing: Metallica, the Bell Tools for you; that was a slack, slack, miserable lack of contribution to a predominantly original-based soundtrack. Okay, the Filter song already existed, but it only kicked MORE ass once The Crystal Method tuned it up!

Own this album!

Oh, and if you were ever intrigued by Spawn, get the animated movies. 1 & 2 aired in segments on HBO, but you can scoop up all 3 animated DVDs for like $12 used, all together.

michele said...

YES! Judgment Night is my second favorite Sucky Movie With A Great Soundtrack.

I need to review that tomorrow.

michele said...

Oh, and I loved the Spawn comic books, which is why I hated the movie so much, I think.

Woody said...

I swear you stole my CD collection. I LOVED this album.

Kudos to Thunder for mentioning the also great Judgement Night soundtrack which I was going to include in this comment until I read his and saw that he stole